The Inevitable Existential Post

They say there are two types of people: those who make it a practice of categorizing people into two types, and those who don't.

(I love that joke.)

I have a habit of categorizing people according to where they fall on spectrums. It's a variation on the two-types habit, a variation that allows for mixtures or shades of grey. For instance, this week, existentialism is on my mind.

On one end of the existential spectrum are people who don't seem at all aware or bothered by the big, why-am-I-here kinds of questions, people who go about their lives, rolling with punches, carving out comfort zones and generally living from one arbitrary goal to another (whether it's getting married, buying a house, having kids, or just buying a new iPod), not taking any of it too seriously or thinking about it too deeply.

On the other end of the spectrum are the tortured souls who have a hard time functioning in society (keeping appointments, maintaining jobs, paying bills) (hello, artists) because these big, unanswered questions about what-life-is-for are too distracting and preoccupying, and painful.

In between, in varying degrees, I believe, are most of the rest of us.

For some, that looks like being good girls & boys, saving our money, working hard, planning vacations... all the while, hearing a mildly troubling background music that suggests that maybe we should be doing something else, or being someone else. That maybe we're meant for more. Or different.

Our beloved entertainment hammers this theme regularly, the idea that we're not living the life we were destined to live. Our stories show us the hero's journey all the time -- listening to a deeper calling, moving in that direction despite the protests of those around us, and finally, victory, arrival at our dream.

Our Act 1-2-3 narrative structure, a formula that's pretty much woven into our beings by this point, follows such an arc and urges us toward it. Many of us have come to believe that if we're not surfing the arc on the hero's journey, we're not living our lives.

Here's the good news: we can't be all things. We can't live all lives, all journeys, all arcs. We each get one life in one body to live one day at a time. And life doesn't always follow an Act 1-2-3 arc.

So while it's natural to wonder, and it's healthy to ask ourselves occasionally whether we're feeling fulfilled by our choices, it isn't necessary to worry too much about it.

In the meantime, on a smaller scale, it can be helpful to think about your values and see whether there are ways you've strayed from them.

For instance, many of us do our best to resist the machine of consumerism, remembering that we don't actually need the toys, we only want the toys, and we can live without them and do so, quite well, most of the time. Around this time of year, though, the machine can be extra persuasive, and we can get caught up and lose anchor in what's really important to us.

Take a moment to remember your values, what's really important to you, the loyalties you have that help you sleep in peace when day is done. Hopefully that'll help put everything else in perspective.